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BLU-RAY / MOVIE REVIEW: Class of 1984



If Class of 1984 is any indication of what kids are like nowadays, I will castrate myself right now. Man, the gang of unruly kids in this movie are a-holes, through and through. They have no redeeming qualities whatsoever and they deserve ever piece of violence thrown at them. That my friends is why I loved Class of 1984. I was rooting with the teacher to get those kids and kick them in the ass, or in once case, saw off a freaking arm! This movie was a warning of a potential future and it's scary to think how right they were...

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BLU-RAY / MOVIE REVIEW: Day of Anger

I know all of five of you that come to my site are expecting only horror movie reviews, but every once and awhile I like to treat myself to something different. Thanks to Arrow Video, that little treat was the spaghetti western Day of Anger, starring Lee Van Cleef. Day of Anger is an Italian western that was released in 1967 and comes off like most of the movies out around that time. That certainly doesn't make it a bad one, as it fact it's actually good, much in thanks to the performances by Giuliano Gemma and Mr. Cleef. It does run a little long in the teeth, especially when you decide to watch the longer Italian version (more on that later,) but when the action does take center stage, it's a lot of fun. Read on to see if Arrow Video's Blu-ray release is worth your hard earned dollars...

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PRESS RELEASE: Full Details on Blu-ray Releases of Sleepaway Camp II & III


Praise be to Scream Factory for releasing the ultra cheesy, but super awesome Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers and Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland on Collector's Edition Blu-rays. Chalk full of great looking features, these two releases are sure to be winners! Sadly, the only bad news with these releases is this little bit of information posted by Scream Factory: (In case you were wondering, we did reach out to former actress "Angela" Pamela Springsteen but she declined to participate unfortunately.)  With that said, read on for the full press release details, which includes all the details on the features to be included...

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MOVIE REVIEW: Volumes of Blood

Anthology films are fun. Period. There is just something about them that I love emmensionly. Maybe it's the fact that it doesn't give you time to be bored and the stories work quick to deliever the goods. There is no messing around with an anthology film and I'm happy to report that Volumes of Blood doesn't mess around. It sets up the scenario to tell the tales and gets right to the goods. Piling on twists and turns and copious amounts of wonderful, wonderful gore, Volumes of Blood has me grinning.

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MOVIE REVIEW: Clown

I think we all can agree that clowns scare the ever loving shit out of anyone. The fear even has it's own name, Coulrophobia. Really though, do you know anyone that says, "boy, I love me some clowns." No? I thought so. My fear of clowns isn't so extreme that I would avoid watching a movie about them. Yeah, I might cross over to the other side of the street if I see one walking towards me, especially if it looks like Pennywise from Stephen King's IT, a clown I assume caused the fear to be developed in a lot of people. The movie Clown tries to grab a hold of that fear and shake you to your core, but unfortunately doesn't completely succeed. Yes, there is some scary clown action happening, but there is also long stretches of not much clown and once the clown basically turns into your average looking demon, the fear disappears. That isn't to say this movie won't give you some chills when watching it alone at night, it just won't turn your hair white. With that said, grab your balloons and float on through this review with me by reading on...





PLOT SUMMARY


A loving father finds a clown suit for his son's birthday party, only to realize the suit is part of an evil curse that turns its wearer into a killer.



MOVIE


Just in case you've been in the dark all this time, Clown is actually based on a faux trailer made by C.D. Ford and Jon Watts, who actually slapped Eli Roth's name on it, just for the fun of it. It's a pretty sweet and well made trailer and I'll put it down at the bottom of this review so you can check it out. Eli Roth saw the trailer and liked it so much, he thought, hell, why not give these guys a chance with a feature length version, thus Clown the feature length movie was born. Now that we got that out of the way, what did I think of the movie?

Clown starts off pretty damn promising and even throws in some humour to lighten the mood a little bit. It's the beginning of the movie that I enjoyed the most, as our main character in the movie, Kent (Andy Powers) dons the clown outfit for his son and before he can say "We all float down here," he can't get the damn thing off. Having to go to work in the outfit, with colourful hair and fake nose, Kent starts to panic when it looks like the crazy hair is becoming his own and the nose is fused to his face. He enlists the help of the ever crazy Peter Stormare, who plays Karlsson, the man who knows what to do to solve the problem. Hint, it involves a cleaver and decapitation.


Kent runs away from his family and tries to figure out exactly what he wants to do. After one hilarious suicide attempt, the hunger for children becomes too much and the violence starts hitting the fan. Don't worry PC crowd, no kids are shown actually being eaten on screen... sadly. As Kent starts changing, we get away from the scary clown from the beginning and we get some weird demon (played by Eli Roth), who really doesn't show up until the very end of the movie. In the meantime, we spend some time with Kent's wife Meg, played by the smoking hot Laura Allen. She tries to figure out how to help her husband and keep her child safe, but sadly that involves a lot of running around and not doing much. Honestly, when I'm watching a movie called Clown, I just want to see a damn clown munching down a children left, right and centre. Plus, don't get me started on that wasted opportunity at Chuck E. Cheese. Having a child eating clown loose in there should have been a gory feeding frenzy, but instead turned out to be just a quick happy meal. Although, I will admit the scene with the kid wandering in the tubes, whilst no music is playing, was pretty damn effective at being tense and scary.

VERDICT


Clown in the end turned out to be fun, but wasn't the fright-fest I was hoping it would be. Yeah, the beginning was cool and at times creepy, but once the clown turns into your standard run of the mill demon, you aren't really scared much any more. (Well, I wasn't at least. The same might not be said for you.) Also, that Chuck E. Cheese scene turned out to be a wasted opportunity, minus one part. However, even with all that, the movie is still pretty fun and any film where the protagonist needs to feed on children is A-OK in my gross, bloody book.


RATING




  
-The faux trailer-
-The movie trailer-
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PRESS RELEASE: Blood and Black Lace - on Region A / B Blu-ray & DVD 13th April 2015


Coming out next week from Arrow Video is Blood and Black Lace, a giallo from Director Mario Bava. Arrow Video looks to have outdone themselves with this one. Read on for the Press Release...

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PRESS RELEASE: Arrow Video brings Stray Cat Rock, Cemetery Without Crosses, and Eaten Alive to the US in July


Arrow Video US July releases to include
Stray Cat Rock, Cemetery Without Crosses, and Eaten Alive 
all via MVD Entertainment Group
 
MVD Entertainment Group furthers the distribution of Arrow Video in the US with a strong schedule of July titles...
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BLU-RAY / MOVIE REVIEW: Carrie (2002 TV Movie)




*NOTE* This Blu-ray disc comes in a two pack with the sequel to The Rage: Carrie 2, released by Scream Factory*

After putting in the second half of the Carrie Double Feature from Scream Factory, I can safely say that this TV version of Carrie was a big waste of time. I really don't understand the need for it and well, I guess the same could be said for the newer remake as well, but that's whole different review. Released in 2002, starring Angela Bettis as Carrie White, this TV version runs a whopping 132 minutes and doesn't do anything really new that the '76 version didn't already do. I know it was made for a new generation of people, as the trailer will tell you, but why? Can kids not watch a '70s movie? Are they incapable of sitting through something that may or may not be dated? Jeeze, kids these days. Actually, no I take that back. It's not the kids fault, but movie producers who are out of touch with people. That's who the real problem lays with. Anyway, I'm getting off topic. Let's get back to Carrie, the unnecessary TV remake.

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MOVIE REVIEW: Starry Eyes

Starry Eyes was a film I didn't really know much about until a couple friends online mentioned that it was pretty good, so after hearing that it's up on Netflix to watch, I immediately sought it out. Boy, am I glad I did, because Starry Eyes is a damn good yarn, with a soundtrack that is phenomenal. It's all about the quest for success and the limits we'll go to obtain it, but of course, don't forget to throw in some supernatural horror, gnarly gore and a performance by Alexandra Essoe that is to die for. Let's read our lines after the jump...

PLOT SUMMARY


A hopeful young starlet uncovers the ominous origins of the Hollywood elite and enters into a deadly agreement in exchange for fame and fortune.

MOVIE


Let's get the obvious out of the way first. If you've ever seen the movie Contracted, you might be saying to yourself, wow this movie is very similar. Yes, there are some familiar beats, but in my opinion they are entirely two different movies and in Starry Eyes case, it doesn't shit the bed in the final act. Instead, it cranks things up tenfold and throws in some fantastic gore (that dumbbell vs head scene is stomach turning in a good way) and serves up an ending that has you grinning, albeit a confused grin. Also, I would be stupid not to mention how utterly fantastic the score is for this movie. Performed by Jonathan Snipes, the synthesizer heavy beats have the '80s written all over it. If you don't believe me, give this tune a listen.


There are a few things that bothered me though. I'm not entirely sure how the change really happened. I understand what she did to the weird old producer, but who is he really and how does his you know what have such weird power? Also, there is a point in the movie where she must prove herself worthy of this 'change' that she has going on and it involves murder... I guess. It's not really explained why she must commit murder, but at least it does serve up all the gory goodness we want. Still, some back story on what is going on and what the point of it all would've been nice. Instead we are left hanging at the end, with no explanation as to what she has become. However, these are super small nitpicks for a damn good movie. 

VERDICT


Alexandra Essoe has stepped into the role and gave us one killer performance. Top it off with some awesome gore, a beautiful score and an ending, albeit an uninformative ending, that creepily tries to explain the origins of starlets, Starry Eyes is a damn good movie worth checking out.


RATING



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BOOK REVIEW: The Scarlet Gospels



The Scarlet Gospels has been talked about all the way back to the year 1993. Yes, it has been that long in the making and finally Clive Barker's next Hellraiser story has been unleashed. Sadly, for me, the anticipation was just too much and after turning the last page, I can honestly tell you that as a Hellraiser story, I did not like it one bit. However, don't get me wrong. That doesn't mean I didn't like the book, as it really was a page turner, with some fantastic imagery and a story that takes you on an epic journey, but it's a journey that just isn't Hellraiser. If I haven't scared you away yet, let's slice more into this review...

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BLU-RAY / MOVIE REVIEW: Ghoulies / Ghoulies II

Scream Factory is cranking out the Blu-ray's lately and to all us horror fans, this is a wonderful time to be undead! This time around we get the Charles Band produced monster flicks Ghoulies and Ghoulies II. Although they may be low budget affairs, filled with cheese and topped up with more cheese, they are still a lot of fun and with new insightful interviews and features, this Double Feature is double the fun! (Yes, I really did just say that.)

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PRESS RELEASE: Scarecrows on Blu-ray June 2nd, 2015


Scream Factory will be releasing the supernatural scarecrow killer Scarecrows on Blu-ray June 2nd, 2015. I've seen this movie once before and I remember enjoying it, so I'm looking forward to checking out the Blu, as it seems to have a good helping of special features to go along with it. Read on to see the press release...

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