30 Days of Night: Dark Days Movie Review

Horror
30-days-of-night-dark-days-poster
Release: 2010, Rating: R, Run time: 92 min.

30 Days of Night was a great movie. It had atmosphere, gore and scary vampires. It also had some pretty good acting and it only really got silly near the end. That’s a good movie. 30 Days of Night: Dark Days on the other hand, is a boring movie, with no atmosphere, crappy gore and even crappier vampires, who scream like banshees. If I had to describe Dark Days in a few words, it would be zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Short nitty-gritty plot description from IMDb is as follows: After surviving the incidents in Barrow, Alaska, Stella Olemaun
relocates to Los Angeles, where she intentionally attracts the attention
of the local vampire population in order to avenge the death of her
husband, Eben.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… *cough *cough. Sorry, I fell asleep there. Where was I? Oh yeah, Dark Days is shit.

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The vampires in 30 Days of Night: Dark Days are a poor excuse for vampires, but at least they don’t sparkle.

I almost feel like stopping the review there, but that wouldn’t be right. No, I probably should provide some sort of reasons why I think the movie is shit. Bah, damn me being helpful to the my readers. It’s all your fault!

Anyway, 30 Days of Night: Dark Days starts off exactly where the first one ended, but with recasting galore happening. We no longer have the lovely Melissa George, as Stella, but instead get the equally beautiful, Kiele Sanchez. It seems she is having a rough go of things and after getting a mysterious letter, that tells her, that vampires are in Los Angeles, she goes about giving speeches about what really happened in Barlow, Alaska, instead of the cover up stories being used. Doing so, catches the eyes of a few hunters who want her to join the team and hunt down Lilith (Mia Kirshner), the queen vampire, or something, I don’t know, but at least Lilith is hot. Things get predictable for the next hour or so and then we get the stupid ending, that shits all over the first movie and the credits roll and you rejoice that it’s over.

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Lilith (Mia Kirshner) is one of few highlights in 30 Days of Night: Dark Days.

30 Days of Night: Dark Days is boring, boring and more boring. It takes everything that was good about the first one, light it on fire and throw it out the window and then goes down stairs, to where the burnt husk has landed and proceeds to squat and shit all over it. It’s that bad folks. Also, what that frak is wrong with the blood in this movie? One minute, it looks like juice and the next minute, it looks like maple syrup and trust me I would know, I’m Canadian. Another thing, people are able to survive from the harshest wounds possible. I’m talking slashes down your arm, cutting through all veins and everything is hunky-dory.

Anything good you may be asking? Well, we have some beautiful women and… ummm… Kiele Sanchez looks pretty hot in her underwear.

30-days-of-night-dark-days-stella-underwear
Stella (Kiele Sanchez) looks hot in her underwear. Biggest highlight, which is sad.

30 Days of Night: Dark Days should be avoided by all fans of the first movie and the graphic novels they are based on. It doesn’t do anything right and barely keeps the viewer awake, through the hour and half of torture, it has set out to put upon you. Avoid at all costs.

Rating:

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