This is how terrible and forgettable Toolbox Murders 2 is. I watched the movie last night, getting about two minutes into it and realizing it was going to awful. I managed to survive the nonsensical movie, which looks like two terrible movies mashed together into one even more terrible movie, and today I woke up, completely forgetting I watched a movie last night. As I went about my day, I finally realized I actually did watch something, and that feeling of dread returned, knowing I had to spend even more time on the dreck known as Toolbox Murders 2, or is it called Coffin Baby? I don’t know and I don’t care…
RUN-TIME: 95 LONG, LONG min
ASPECT RATIO: 1.78:1
AUDIO: English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1/2.0
PRODUCTION DATE: 2013
RELEASE DATE: Aug 4th, 2015
|Get use to this look, cause you’re going to see it for the next 90 minutes.|
Thought you saw the whole nail-biting, gut-wrenching story? Think again.
The handyman of horror is back with a new box of tricks in Toolbox Murders 2, a terrifying sequel to Tobe Hooper’s 2004 reimagining of the 1978 cult favorite. Picking up directly after the events of Hooper’s shocking film, Toolbox Murders 2 ratchets up the terror as it follows one of Hollywood’s most twisted killers. Resurfacing in the darkest corners of the L.A. underworld with a serious axe to grind, the killer hammers out a plan to put the screws to a new victim: Samantha, the sister of his prey from his previous rampage. Soon Samantha finds herself held captive in a house of horrors and forced to undergo the most unspeakable tortures… with little hope of escape.
Starring Chauntal Lewis, Brian Krause, Chris Doyle, and two-time Academy Award® nominee* Bruce Dern, Toolbox Murders 2 will disturb even the most level-headed fright fan while pushing every envelope imaginable and drilling shocking imagery into their minds!
*1978: Best Supporting Actor, Coming Home; 2014: Best Actor, Nebraska
|Coffin Baby, aka TBK, aka Dumbass.|
Let’s see if I can break down this movie into some sort of coherent string of scenes. We start off with a murder and we meet up with the dead woman’s sister, who may or may not be upset her sister is dead (the acting doesn’t show this). The woman, who’s name is Samantha, gets kidnapped by the Toolbox Killer, also known as Coffin Baby, and we spend countless minutes watching him torture her by killing people in front of her, feeding her human flesh, which she happily eats, and also lots and lots of popcorn. We also have another guy kidnapped (Hey look! It’s Bruce Dern from The Burbs! That’s cool!), some ghosts (I think) and a detective, played by Sleepwalkers actor Brian Krause, who shows up for a few minutes at the beginning, middle and end. The end comes out of left field and makes not a bit of sense, and I believe was tacked on just to show us some gory special effects, which the movie has plenty of.
|Beep Boop Boobies.|
The problem with Toolbox Murders 2, besides the fact that it just sucks, is that it’s the most incoherent piece of crap I’ve seen in a long time. Scenes are jumbled all about, with characters coming and going. We have nonsensical flashbacks galore, and an actress who can’t emote, even if her ass was set on fire. I really feel like this movie was made to torture people, and if it was, it succeeds big time.
I would be remiss in not mentioning the behind the scenes issues with the movie. The director, Dean C. Jones, took the footage that he shot for Toolbox Murders 2 and made a movie on his own called Coffin Baby, which is the same name of the killer from the first Toolbox Murders movie, the remake from Tobe Hooper. The movie was released, but obviously the suits got wind of this and put the big kibosh on the distribution of it. Finally, everyone agreed on putting the movie together as Toolbox Murders 2 and they hired some blind, deaf monkeys to piece this monstrosity together, with their own feces I assume, and Scream Factory paid half a penny for the rights to release it on Blu-ray. This is all hearsay mind you, but I think I’m close to the truth here.
Scream Factory releases the movie on Blu-ray (DVD as well) and video quality is pretty good, mind you, it looks like a porn with no payoff. Shot entirely on digital video, everything just kind of looks too clean. This is no fault to Scream, as the movie is looking like it was intended to look like, which is low grade trash. Audio is served up in two flavours, English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 and 2.0. Sadly, the audio has no issues, so you’ll have to sit through the entire movie hearing everything loud and clear. Only feature is the trailer to the horrible torture you just put yourself through.
|What every viewer of this movie feels like doing to themselves.|
BLU-RAY SPECIAL FEATURES
– A trailer to a shitty movie called Toolbox Murders 2.
The movie sucks, plain and simple. Its a mess that makes no sense and it’s a waste of your time. There is nothing wrong with the Blu-ray from Scream Factory, so at least there is that. Everything else blows monkey nuts.
|Half a zombie brain goes to Scream Factory for releasing the movie to that one fan that really wants to buy it. (I assume the director.)|