Class of 1999 Movie Review

Horror
Release: 1990, Rating: R, Run time: 99 min.

I wrote on my site’s Facebook page, that I was surprised that I’ve never seen Class of 1999 before, as I thought it was a pretty good movie. That’s no lie. The movie turned out to be a damn interesting sci-fi flick, about cyborg teachers, rebel gangs and the fantastic future of 1999. If action, a small dash of violence, cheesy 80s clothes/hair and kick ass cyborg teachers, are your thing, you’ll be good to go on this one. However, if that still doesn’t convince you, read on to see if what I got to say will do the job…

Short nitty-gritty plot description from IMDb is as follows: Robot teachers have been secretly placed in the schools where the
students have run riot. The teachers do a god job of controlling the
unruly youngsters, until they go too far and some students get
suspicious.

The year is 1999. The USA has gone to shit and gangs have taken over (it’s one of the only futuristic sci-fi films, to predict the future so correctly). In one quarantined off area, there lies a school called, Kennedy High School. The principal, Dr. Miles Langford, played by Malcolm McDowell, very much wants his school back in tip top shape, so he calls on the help of Dr. Robert “Bob” Forrest, played by Stacy Keach, who has the most righteous hair ever!

I’m not gonna lie, I got a little semi right now.

Forrest, is offering Langford the opportunity of a life time. Employee three cyborg teachers into the school and teach these unruly kids some discipline. Langford agrees, so the school is opened up. Which means, all kids, no matter if they are in jail or not, will be forced to go to school. In comes Cody Culp (Bradley Gregg), who gets released from prison, so he can get his much needed education. He isn’t long at school, when he notices the teachers are not quite right, especially since they have been dealing out some extreme discipline, sometimes with deadly results.

Mr. Hardin (John P. Ryan) dealing out the deadly results.

Class of 1999 is a funny movie, in that I’m supposed to be rooting for the kids, yet I can’t help but root for the killer cyborgs. These delinquents are just annoying little douches, thinking they are all hot shit, with their gangs and what not. So, damn straight I’m cheering for the “bad guys” in this movie. Teach them all a lesson I say! (My god, I sound old.)

Except for me cheering for the other guys, Class of 1999 barely does anything wrong in my book. It’s got some pretty sweet action, a healthy dose of humor (much to the thanks of the teachers, teaching those kids a lesson) and a glorious ending, that accumulates into a big stand off at the school, with the cyborgs really showing what they can do! The effects might look a little wonky at parts, but I still got a kick out of it all.

They look so real!

If I had to lob any complains towards the movie, I would have to say I would’ve liked to have a little more violence and gore, on my metal plate. The movie is labeled as the uncut version, but from what I saw, there was nothing to get squeamish about, which is a shame. Also, the movie could’ve easily spent more time at the school and had the teachers give those students a few more strict lessons.

Class of 1999 rocked my graduation cap off, with its fun story, killer cyborgs and the glorious scenes of annoying brats getting their just desserts. It might not be high art, but it sure was a wonderful way to spend 99 minutes. Class of 1999 rightfully receives its diploma in cyborg fun.

Rating:

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