You may have noticed that I skipped over Halloween III when doing my Halloween series reviews. There are a couple reasons for that. First and most obvious, is that Halloween III is not related to any of the other movies and doesn’t have Michael Myers in it. Second, today is the 30th anniversary since the theatrical release, so I saw it fit to wait till now, to throw up a review. So sit back, put on your Sliver Shamrock mask and enjoy…

Short nitty-gritty plot description from IMDb is as follows: A large Halloween mask-making company has plans to kill millions of American children with something sinister hidden in Halloween masks.

Halloween III is an interesting film. Having nothing to do with Myers (the original Halloween movie is actually seen on the TV), the film was a disappointment for many, but if you remove that from the equation, the movie is actually a pretty fun experience. The storyline might be full of plot holes and even the writer knew that, going so far to have the main villain just blow off the question about how they got a giant piece of the Stonehenge into their factory. It’s almost as if the writer had no clue, which, call me crazy, I’m thinking he didn’t. That’s the thing though, you must not look at Halloween III as a coherent film, instead you need to open your mind up to something that isn’t quite real, something almost magical. Halloween III is like the unicorn of the Halloween series, a mythical creature who shoots rainbows out its butt.

 

We have some notable actors hamming up the screen and I’m loving every minute of it. Tom Atkins of course is the highlight for this mind melting experience. He plays an alcoholic doctor named Dr. Dan Challis, who blows off his ex wife (Nancy Loomis, in a role quite different from her time in Halloween as Annie) and kids, to go hang out with a young girl, drink beer and solve Scooby-Doo level mysteries. Stacey Nelkin, plays Ellie Grimbridge, a girl investigating her father’s death and his ties to the Silver Shamrock Novelties factory. Ellie and I assume Stacey herself, only last so long before her intense sexual energy is too much to handle and she asks Dr. Challis where he wants to “sleep”. Of course, he could always sleep in the car, or on the floor, but really, it’s a dumb question isn’t it. Rounding out the actors, is Dan O’Herlihy, who you might know from some small low budget movie about a part man, part machine, all cop! Here he is playing Conal Cochran, owner of Silver Shamrock Novelties. He is a fairly strange man and one who really doesn’t like to explain his evil plan. Instead, he would rather just smirk, clap his hands and throw out a random quip about how he “had a time getting it here”. Don’t forget to look out for Dick Warlock (Halloween II, Michael Myers), as an evil henchman, who isn’t exactly how he appears and Jamie Lee Curtis’ voice, as the operator and curfew announcer.

 

As for everything else, Halloween III is directed by Tommy Lee Wallace, the creator of the Michael Myers mask. Fun fact! He also directed the outstanding Stephen King’s IT telemovie. Music is brought to us by John Carpenter and Alan Howarth, and much like Halloween II, the music is heavy on the synthesizer and really just flat out rocks. One listen to this song and you’ll be singing it till your head melts and bugs, snakes and spiders come out. Also, enjoy the very dark ending, which doesn’t really hit you, ’til after the credits role. Once it does though, you’ll realize a shit ton of people just got killed. Sweet.

If you haven’t noticed yet, this review is not serious at all (bahhh, what!?!), but that’s because Halloween III isn’t serious. Oh I’m sure the director, writers, actors and crew thought it was, but really the concept is so ridiculous, you can really only enjoy the movie if you laugh along with it. That’s why every year, around this time, I get together with some friends and watch it. We drink, we laugh and seriously just have a good time. And that my friends, is exactly what Halloween III is… a good time.

Fun Rating: Infinity/5

Real Rating:

 

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