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Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn – Review (Scream Factory Blu-ray)

Action Featured Sci-Fi Scream Factory
7

Good

Let’s pretend for a second that you are movie maker and you want to make a tonne of money. Oh, I forgot to mention; you have no money to make the movie and the year is 1983, the year of 3-D, with the likes of Jaws 3-D and Friday the 13th Part 3-D coming out. What do you do? Well, if you’re Charles Band, you take a basic idea that mashes Mad Max and Star Wars, throw in a cool poster and start production on it even before anyone has bought your movie. Does it work? Well, for Charles Band, it seems to always work. Case in point, the blatantly obvious Mad Max ripoff Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn. Filmed on a very low budget, Metalstorm combines the post-apocalyptic world of Max, with a generous helping of Sci-fi to please Star Wars Fans. It’s all done in a campy, low budget affair that Band has become known for. Combine that camp with some 3-D and you got a flick that entertains.

PRODUCT INFORMATION

DISCS: 2
RUN-TIME: 84 min
ASPECT RATIO: 2.35:1
RESOLUTION: 1080p
AUDIO: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1, 2.0
LANGUAGE: English
SUBTITLES: English
REGION: A/1
RATING: R
PRODUCTION DATE: 1983
RELEASE DATE: Sept 13, 2016

PLOT SUMMARY

Experience the future in 3-D!

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn is the science fiction battle of the ages with giant Cyclopians and an intergalactic magician in this futuristic adventure set on the desert planet of Lemuria. A miner and his daughter Dhyana (Kelly Preston, Death Sentence, Christine) fall prey to the evil dictator Jared-Syn’s reign of terror. Dogen (Jeffrey Byron, The Dungeonmaster) the brave peacekeeping ranger, must save Dhyana and the rest of her planet from the brutality of Jared-Syn (Mike Preston, The Road Warrior), his son, Baal (R. David Smith, T-Force), and the hideous Cyclopian warlord, Hurok (Richard Moll, Razor). If Dogen does not find Dhyana in time, she will be sacrificed to Jared-Syn’s strange life-giving crystal. Take a space-age journey into the farthest reaches of the imagination with dazzling special effects and a story that will excite fantasy fans of all ages.

This sci-fi action film was directed by Empire Pictures founder Charles Band (Puppetmaster, Trancers) and also features his Trancers star Tim Thomerson (Near Dark, Fade to Black).

MOVIE REVIEW

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The year is something, and the place is somewhere. A souped up car rides across the desert wastelands, in search of a foam wearing bad guy named Jared-Syn. The man searching for Syn is Dogen (Jeffrey Byron – The Dungeonmaster), the leather clad Mad Max ripoff. Meanwhile, Kelly Preston is looking smoking hot while she probes a cave with her phallic looking object. She is helping her father find crystals. Unfortunately for them, they are in prohibited territory and Jared-Syn’s son Baal, shows up to spray his green ooze all over the place. Her father sadly doesn’t make it and his lifeforce gets sucked into a crystal.

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Dogen races to not save the day, but hook up with Kelly Preston (who wouldn’t?). Dogen doesn’t have the time to go all the way, as he is busy trying to find Jared-Syn. Thankfully, Dogen gets some help from the Dollman himself, Tim Thomerson. Thomerson plays Rhodes, who may know where Jared-Syn’s magical city lies.

Dogen, along with Rhodes, traverses the desert lands, stopping only to have a Star Trek duel with Richard Moll. The lands are tough and Dogen is running out of time, as Jared-Syn is racing to fill up the giant crystal lifeforce doodad and become ruler of the land. Will Dogen make it and will we see Kelly Preston’s boobies (sadly, no. No we won’t see her boobies. Sad face.)

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Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn. What can be said about this flick? Well, for one thing, there are no metal storms taking place and there really isn’t any destruction of Jared-Syn happening either. Although, Kelly Preston is freaking beautiful and the film doesn’t skimp on the campiness and fun times. The movie is not boring, to say the least, with laser guns, old western duels, pit fighting and lightning monsters to wrestle with. It is all presented with a low budget, heart in the right place, type of filmmaking, which makes Metalstorm a fun movie to sit down and watch with friends.

BLU-RAY OPINION

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I have to give props to Scream Factory for releasing this movie in a two-disc Blu-ray package, with a surprising 42 minute making of. The second disc is where the fun is at, as it gives us the film in “glorious” Blu-ray 3D. The transfer for the 3-D version has a few darker areas, but Scream Factory was wise to note that the transfer comes from a few different areas and they couldn’t resolve all issues. As for the gimmicky 3-D, the film goes to great lengths to throw stuff in your face and for the most part, it works. I did feel like I was going cross-eyed at some points, but that very well could have been my TV’s 3-D going wonky. 2-D fans can rest easy, as the first disc has the “flat” presentation of the flick and the transfer is looking pretty damn nice. As for the audio, both viewings had a tendency to be on the low side in regards to dialogue. You’ll notice yourself turning it up and down depending on what is happening on screen. I hear the 2.0 option fixes this issue (I watched in 5.1).

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I’ve already mentioned the wonderful 42-minute making up that features interviews with several cast members and crew. Sadly, hotty Kelly Preston doesn’t show up, but pretty much everyone else does. They break down the film quite nicely, featuring the vehicles, props, special effects and production. It’s damn fine Making Of. Rounding everything out is an extensive photo gallery, radio spot (METALSTORM! METALSTORM! METALSTORM!!!) and trailer.

SPECIAL FEATURES

  • NEW High Definition Transfer Presented In Both 2-D And 3-D!
  • NEW High Noon At The End Of The Universe – Featuring Interviews With Director/Producer Charles Band, Actors Jeffrey Byron, Richard Moll And Tim Thomerson, Screenwriter/Producer Alan J. Adler, Special Effects Artist Allan Apone, Make-up Artist Kenny Myers And Composer Richard Band
  • Promotional And Behind-The-Scenes Still Gallery
  • Radio Spot
  • Original Theatrical Trailer

VERDICT

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn is one of those low budget flicks that work because the crew knew how to stretch a budget and have a good time. It is not perfect, that’s for sure, but it is never dull. The Scream Factory Blu-ray goes to great lengths to provide a solid release and it succeeds wonderfully. I recommend fans of sci-fi camp to pick it up, however, make sure it is for a good price (let’s say around $20).

Good

  • Campy fun
  • Kelly Preston
  • Cheesy Effects
  • Fun, senseless story

Bad

  • Pretty low budget
  • Lack of Kelly Preston's Boobies
  • Lackluster Ending

Summary

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn is low-budget 3-D camp through and through. It's a fun time, but you have to accept for what it is: cheese.
7

Good

Movie - 6
Blu-ray - 8

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